“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness” – Maya Angelou

I have almost done it! It has been such a long summer of no school, no rules and no routine! This post will not be about how difficult it is to entertain children for 6 weeks (to clarify – it is hard). It is not about how to fill you’re time while the weather is so hot you can’t step outside without getting cross (I did get cross). Lastly this post is not about how you feel you should be a perfect mother with all the answers (we are all winging it).

No to all the above… this post is to do with me, myself and I, and it has taken me by surprise. Summer Holidays! Summer Holidays are hard because they are LONELY!

That was not something I never expected to say. How can I be lonely with my little loves home with me all the time? ALL the time! We plan stuff – we have been to Ireland, Portugal, and Australia. We have been on stay-cations all around the 7 Emirates of the UAE. We have been on cinema dates, trips to malls (where they run), trips to every soft play centre we have heard about, bowling, beaches, pools, trampoline centres (hello tenna lady), early morning park adventures, play dates with friends who have braved the summer also (well done mama’s), the list is endless.  Our Little’s have loved it. We’ve watched several films, played all the games we own and washed the dog more then normal. But…..I have been so lonely.

It turns out that, no matter how much I gave out about the school run (Sorry Hubby), but lets face it – going to the same school 4 times a day in the desert! In that heat! Well, its enough to drive anyone mad! Yet the value of having those 5 minute conversations a day to people that are taller then my hips, are absolutely invaluable to me. I never thought I could miss the camaraderie of the school gate. I miss the opportunity to moan about the weather, ask for advice, share frustrations of the morning, spot other mums with hair in messy buns and other mums like me who could rock up with two different Havianas at drop off from pure exhaustion. I miss the couple of hours a day I had to grab a coffee with a friend, time to clean my home in peace, to watch an hour of girly shite on TV while drinking a cup of tea that hasn’t had the chance to go cold!

Don’t get me wrong, I do LOVE the holidays. I love the mornings we dont get dressed until absolutley nessasary and the nights we stay up an hour later to watch a movie in bed together. I love the freedom we have, and the ability to change our minds on what we are doing at the last minute. I love spending time with my little loves – I can see how happy and relaxed they are not having to worry about school any more, especially Little Red who normally is in school for 7am. There are so many benefits and I wouldn’t change them as I do think they are needed, but I really do miss adult company. That expression “I can’t adult today” comes to mind! I miss the chats with adults where there are no little’s demanding time. Where we don’t look at the clock. Where we can laugh and enjoy uninterrupted conversations that don’t revolve around managing little loves friendships.

I guess the long story short (I have never been good at cutting down a story) – I am going to enjoy what’s left of the summer holidays. Enjoy the Little loves and enjoy the last of the freedom!

But secretly (Sshh) I am going to look forward to September, where routine resumes and I can feel just a little less lonely!

Happy Sunday 🙂

Helly xx

 

 

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