9:45pm and in bed with a tea and about fifteen biscuits with Fiadh-Belle pulling at my arm and daddy singing ‘I can’t get no sleep’ by faithless – fitting… very fitting.
We are in the midst of what I can only call Sleep deprivation hell. Fiadh-Belle loves a cat nap during the day and at night she loves waking every two hours for a feed. The only thing that will comfort her is me and as cute as I thought that was for the first three months – I am now realizing how messed up it is! I made this mess myself – which makes it ten times worse!
What’s that saying?
I really am trying to not give out as being her mama is a privilege but quite honestly, the lack of sleep is a head wreck. Friends have actually told me (I’m to scared to google) that there are countries in the world that make you stay awake as a form of torture. Some nights she doesn’t make it to, two hours before coughing (her way of demanding boobs) and I try everything to settle her but the fear of falling asleep on her forces me to feed and catch any zzz’s I can.
While in Ireland friends said that maybe It was about time I started weaning. That maybe a spoon of baby rice in the evening would fill her up more and that she would sleep!
I don’t know why I was so reluctant to feed her – I guess I didn’t want to admit to myself that she is getting bigger and this is simply the next stage. It’s a weird, emotional thing. She has only had me for 6 months and I can’t bear her pushing me away and wanting something else – yet I know she needs it and let’s face it I clearly need the break but the thought of someone else feeding her and me losing all control gave me anxiety. Yep. Crazy thoughts I know! I really should be happy with any break I’m given at this stage!
So, we started giving her a purée of apple and banana the last three days and total shock – she loved it!
Day three and she hasn’t settled faster, slept for longer or fallen asleep sooner. However, she seems happier!
4 month sleep regression
5 month sleep regression
6 month sleep regression
You’re getting the picture here…
All parents have to go through this don’t they? It seems easy to feel alone, when you are a new Mum, first time Mum, or even an experienced Mum, that feeling like – You are the only one going through it.
Im sure a lot of people have great babies who sleep like logs from eight weeks and never have any trouble, but isn’t it common for babies to wake up? Am I kind of wasting my time trying to figure her out this early? Is it the end of the world, to just go with the flow and accept that some babies wake up through the night? Perhaps I’m being soft. I really should have more cop on with this being the 3rd baby.
The tiredness is making me blab and Mr O is still singing faithless. At this stage I’m shocked he knows all the words!
Must stop blabbing…
For now, I have decided to embrace the night feeds and use them to write blog posts and search the internet for my dream home in Ireland. The fact that I can actually keep my eyes open for some of them makes me think I should keep calm and boob on! I’m going to order a lot more Nespresso pods this week/month/year and thank God that Fiadh-Belle is healthy and gorgeous.
Her smile and giggles through out the day manage to almost completely numb me against the exhaustion of the nights.
For now that is!
Love, Helly xx
P.S – She just fell asleep!!!!