What do you do? What do I do?

Some times I have to stop and think “how do I answer this question?”

It is a Question that everyone asks in Dubai. A question that seems to be thrown out more than a hello!

It did get me thinking though. How could we change the way we answer it? After all, the person asking it is usually trying to figure out our story!

What do you do?

I am a stay at home Mammy!

A working Mother or a stay at home Mother. I must admit I have never felt that one of those titles should out do the other.

I dont think anyone could compare or pick which title is better! A working Mother or a stay at home Mother. I have been both these titles yet for some reason having another title other then ‘Mammy’ used to make me feel like I had more of a purpose.

I now feel that I want to be proud of my decision to be a stay at home Mam, even at the times when people don’t think much of it.

As the eldest daughter of a Mam who was very career driven, I was raised to be independent from the get go! I was always happy to play on my own as a child and being an only child for the first 7years of my life made that task pretty easy. It was incredible to finally get a sister when I was almost 8years old but as she was small I almost acted like her mammy rather then her sister until she was big enough to tell me “I’m big too”. Then when I was 13 I was delighted to get my first proper job at a chipper, something my little loves will never get the chance to do living in Dubai. I was so proud of this job! I told the world what I was up to. Anyone that came in walking distance of me was told my story. This is what I do – I am proud of it.

I don’t want my little loves to ever look down at people or feel that one title is greater than another. We always promote positive thinking in our home and so I hope they grow up realising the title does not make the person. The person owns their title.

Some how titles are still measured by a professional metric, especially here in Dubai. Women who swap a busy career to become stay at home Mother’s often end up pursueing parttime work just to keep that identity and for social affirmation. Whilst I dont think there is anything wrong with being the career driven working Mammy (like my own Mam was) motherhood seems invalidated when women are pressured into having a job. Like we need it in order to feel competent and skilled.

In a child’s eyes, a mother is a goddess. She can be glorious or terrible, benevolent or filled with wrath, but she commands love either way. I am convinced that this is the greatest power in the universe – J.K Jemisin

What do you do?

I often say to people – I do freelance writing and have a small blog. For some silly reason it sounds a little more worthwhile. It doesn’t matter that I don’t get paid for it. These title’s imply that I am more than just Mammy.

I realise I shouldn’t have to under sell myself as a Mam by telling people I also have a real job. For some silly reason it just makes me feel better any time that question is asked!

That question again…

What do you do?

I am a stay at home Mam. The title doesn’t sound impressive to some. No Diploma. No certificate’s needed for this role. What did you do to qualify for this role? All I did was have a baby or three, quit my job and move to the other side of the world with 2 suitcases.

What do you do?

I could list my routine tasks of each day; Uber Taxi Mam. Feeder. Dry Cleaner. Nurse. Home Work Helper. Advisor. Dance Instructor. Bath and Bed Supervisor – Just to name a few! Maybe I should be answering this question with; I devote all my days and nights to raising my little loves who know how to receive love, love themselves and love others. I tend to their needs to teach them to trust people and to feel safe. We play together to feel happiness. I bring them to many charity events to show them kindness and compassion. I travel with them to teach them the world is bigger than they know.

The hardest answer to give at this stage is, am I making an impact.

What exactly do I do?

I create a safe space for mylittleloves to love. I push them so they feel they could be the generation to change the world – and hope they want to change it!

That is the influence I want to have. It maybe a tricky task some days. I also may want to shout “I QUIT” from the top of the Burj Khalifa every now and then but I also realise how lucky I am to have this role.

Most working Mammy’s would kill for more time at home with their little loves and I am blessed to have fallen into it.

For now I am a stay at home mammy with a purpose!

Love, Helly x